Do I work? Do You Work? Should We Both Work?

 Do I work? Do you work? Should we both work? This is all between a husband, wife and God. However, I learned something fascinating this week that sometimes both the husband and wife work to obtain a certain lifestyle. They start bringing kids into the family and both still choose to work, but studies have shown that they actually lose more money than they earn versus those who choose to only have one bread winner. I found that really weird and hard to believe because it seems to make sense that if you have two people working you are going to make more money. But then I started thinking about how expensive day care is or a nanny on top of paying for children. Children alone are really expensive. I can now see how that could really lead to losing money than gaining.

My aunt and uncle have two beautiful babies and they both work. My uncle came over from Brazil when they got married and didn’t know English. So, my aunt at first was the main bread winner. My uncle then started working a little, but my aunt still made most of the money when they had their first child. Now they have two kids and both have really good paying jobs. When they first had their kids, my aunt worked during the day and my uncle watched them and then she would be with them at night while my uncle went to work so there wasn’t a need really for nannies and family would help out when they really needed someone. Then the kids got older and both started working in the day, but they had people in the ward and myself and so it still wasn’t as expensive as a nanny or daycare. They did spend more money, but not anywhere near enough to cancel out one of their job’s income. Now, their kids go to a church preschool that they pay for and is probably the most expensive care they have paid for. Their kids love it and are learning, it helps mom and dad, and it’s still cheaper than day care. They have had times of stress and uncertainty of how they will be able to work everything out at times. Especially in the summer when I work and the kids aren’t in preschool, but it always ends up working out. 

Their story is why I had such a hard time believing the studies because they didn’t seem to spend so much money on child care that they spent more than they made. But when you take a closer look you can see that they never paid for a nanny or daycare. Both of which are extremely expensive. They had babysitters on weekends, I lived with them when I went to school which helped me not have to drive so far and they had a babysitter who was free of charge. They had a time when they didn’t see each other much because they had different time jobs, but it worked out to take care of the kids. And then they sent them to preschool which they both love so much and mom and dad were able to work without paying daycare or for a nanny. This is not to say that there weren’t times in their lives that they didn’t pay more for child care. There might have even been times when they paid much more than if one of them had just stayed home. But I don’t fully know their finances. I just know that it always worked out. I know that God helped them with that. 

All of this being said, I don’t know what I would do. It truly is between you and God and your spouse. Maybe one of you is supposed to stay home, maybe you both need to work or are able to and would like to. We have studies showing that it can be more expensive for both to work and that children don’t really benefit from being raised by a nanny or day care. But I also know from experience that just because both parents work doesn’t mean that the kids aren’t raised by the parents. My aunt and uncle had it worked out really well where my aunt was with them in the morning and worked afternoon and my uncle was home at 3 or 4 in the afternoon and they were all home for dinner. Pray about what you should do and God will lead you. Act in faith and it will all work out.