Marriage and Parenting!

    Marriage is hard and adding in children, even though we love them to death, it doesn’t mean it is always easy. Something I learned that I found fascinating this week was the correlation between having children and divorce. Maybe it is obvious to others, but I was a little surprised. When people first get married it’s all new and exciting. When a couple has their first child it can add strain to their relationship. This strain has been known to lead to divorce. A reason for this is when they have their child the women becomes very involved with their new baby. Babies require a lot of attention and care to live. Women also have a biological connection to their child that instantly makes them over the moon in love with their child. Men don’t have that, it does not mean that they aren’t over the moon in love with their child too, but they don’t have that biological connection that the mother has with her child. So, as the mother is busy taking care of her child the father can feel neglected, missing their alone time, his attention and the things that made him feel cared about. There can also tend to be a lack of communication. The husband can feel like they aren’t on the same page because the wife is so preoccupied with the baby. The wife can feel that the husband isn’t helping out and is always corrected him and tell him what to do. There are many different factors that can play into leading towards a divorce. 

    Now, while I understand it now, I can definitely see how this can happen. For me it was a little shock because it was never that way in my family. I always just assumed that it was something that brought a couple closer together. Recently I have talked to my different family members who are parents I realized that it did bring a strain to the couple, but it still was never something that tore a family apart as I have learned about this week. But, from my readings I have seen why this was maybe something I never considered. The men in my family would go to the doctor appointments, were more involved with helping take care of the kids. The women were more understanding of their husbands who worked or they figured out how to juggle both of them working and kids. 

    I know in my future family I want to make sure that my husband can go to my appointments with me, that he is involved with my pregnancy and with the baby after it is born. I think that a baby can truly be something that brings a man and wife even closer together, but it will take more work. However, I think that both parents taking care of their children, spending time with them, and being happy about it is more attractive than anything else. That alone can bring them close together. Spouses going to the doctor appointments together, husbands feeling the baby kick, staying up at night and helping with the baby, etc. are all things that will bring them closer together and help build that bound between husband and wife. And what is crazy about spending time with your children and helping out happily is also something that brings spouses closer together. Helping take care of the children you both love and bearing the load together. Parenting and marriages are hard, but when done together marriage and parenting are so much easier and 10x more rewarding. Go to appointments together, communicate about what is bothering you and work on it because this is a big change, and help and understand one another. Let this huge blessing that is entering your life truly be such a great blessing and joy, not something that drives you apart.