The importance of thoughtful decisions about how many children one allows to come into one's family


        I have always wanted to have a large family; well I guess I should say large to the world’s view which is about 4-5 kids. Large in my perspective, being a member of the church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, is over 5. I can get frustrated easily and have always worried about being a good mom. I want to be patient and I worry the more kids I have the more frustrated and impatient I will be. So, I assumed 4-5 kids would be good….and I still stand by that number. However, recently I heard someone say, “What happens to the kids you don’t welcome into your home.” I was a little confused, but it got me thinking. What if Heavenly Father has even just one more child He wants to send to my home, but I have made up my mind to only have no more than 5. Where would that child go? He or she would be sent to another home. It doesn’t mean it is a bad home, but they will not have the opportunity to grow up in my home, where Heavenly Father thought it would be best for them and for me. It definitely made me think a lot. While I still want 4-5 kids, the amount of kids I have is between my future husband, myself, and the Lord. If I feel impressed that I should have another I will do so. Will I be scared and have my concerns? Of course, but I know that all I need is faith and God will provide a way.


I know that there are a lot of different circumstances such as the ability to have children, to provide financial stability for children or more children, the desire to provide the best for your family, etc. I feel kind of weird stating my opinion on this and the family even though it is so important to me just because I do not have my own family. However, I do know that the Lord knows best and if we listen to Him and trust in Him, He will guide us down the right path. It doesn’t necessarily mean easy and most of the time it’s not the path we envisioned, but I do know that he will bless us beyond measure for following Him especially when it’s hard. And children are hard. I think it’s good to have a plan and a vision for our own family and the amount of kids we want; it keeps us moving in a direction and not standing still. It is also important to allow our plans to be changed when and as God sees fit. The phrase, “a leap of faith” is truly what having a family is. It is leaping into something hard and greatly rewarding having faith that our Father in Heaven will provide for us as we follow Him. It doesn’t mean you have to have 11 kids or even 4. The age we get married, ability to have kids, adopt, and God’s plan for us varies from family to family. My aunt has two little boys and they are my favorite little things, partly because they are part Brazilian so they have beautiful caramel skin, but mainly because I got to live with them for a time while I went to school and got to spend more time with them. My aunt has a beautiful family and we are so happy to have those two little boys. My grandma on my dad’s side had 10 kids though the last one passed away from premature birth and I am so grateful to have all my aunts and uncles and cousins on that side. My grandparents also have a beautiful family. 


        We all want the best for us and our future families and having kids is scary. I look forward to the day that I am a wife and mother, but it also scares. As we thoughtfully ponder and prayerfully ask our Heavenly Father He will direct and guide us to our perfect and beautiful family.


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