The Best Way to Make Decisions! I'll Give You a Hint! It's not Compromising!!

 I don’t know if you all think like I do, maybe yes maybe no, but I always assumed that compromising was the way to do things in a marriage. You have two completely different people coming together to live life together. You both have two different brains that think differently so of course you won’t always agree. So, what do you do? Compromise! But I have learned this week that that isn’t always the best thing to do. Not saying that compromising is always bad, but it can lead someone to feel like they are always giving. It can create a win/lose scenario where one is left feeling like they lost when this should be team work, not a competition. 

We know that when we get married in the temple, we form a triangle with God. The closer we get to Him the closer we get to each other. God is a part of our relationship and as such He is the perfect person who can help us with our questions, problems, and decisions. He wants our marriage to success, He wants to help us, and before we got married, we could receive personal revelation so why not for our marriage? We know that for personal revelation we need to ponder it out in our mind first and then go to God and ask if what we have decided on is correct or what He would be pleased with and He will answer us. Sometimes it takes time, well often it takes time, but He does answer us. We can do the same thing in our marriage, except instead of just between yourself and God you add your spouse into the discussion.

I recently learned that the apostles do something a little similar that we can do as well. They pick a place (the temple) and go there to have this discussion. Then they say what they appreciate, admire or love about each other. Then they have a prayer together to invite the spirit in and talk to the Lord about what is on their minds and they would like answered. After the prayer they discuss together in regards not to their own preferences, but to the Lord’s and come to a consensus. Then they return to the Lord in prayer and share with Him their decision asking if it is His will. Then they have refreshments like chocolate or pie! I found that funny. Who knew that the apostles of the Lord had chocolate or pie in the temple! 

We can break their meeting down into: Place, Love, Prayer, Discuss and Come to a Consensus in regards to the Lords will, prayer, and chocolate/pie. We can add this into our own marriages or future marriages. God is in all the details of our lives and everything that is important to us is important to Him. We can come to Him with big or small things. For example, one person wants to live in Washington and the other New York. So, to compromise you choose somewhere in the middle which is not what either of you chose. Or you could even choose one person’s and you get something else or can win the next argument. To me, it sounds better to do what the apostles do. Meet together at a certain place, say what you love about each other, pray, discuss in regards to the Lord’s will and come to a consensus, pray and when you have your answer…guess what?? You get refreshments! It will make it so no one is winning or losing, but the goal is to instead desire the Lord’s will. He desires to help us; we just need to let Him. He has so many blessings in store for you when you follow His plan. It doesn’t mean it will be easy, but you will grow and be so blessed and your marriage will succeed.

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